


Rain, wounds and aches

by shouroki



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Manga & Anime, Military, Royai - Freeform, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 03:39:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17696957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouroki/pseuds/shouroki
Summary: Roy is struggling coming to terms with Hughes’ death, but his lieutenant notices his inner struggles.





	Rain, wounds and aches

Roy huffed quietly, leaning back in his chair as he closed his eyes, his office was eerily silent, there was no chatter from his comrades, no pens scribbling on paper, and no random phone calls. He didn’t know who murdered his best friend, but he did know that his heart was heavy, aching, he knew that he missed the random phone calls from Hughes, he missed the constant gushing from Hughes. His mind wandered to the image of the family that Hughes left behind, the little girl that’s missing her daddy, the wife that misses her husband.

_‘If only you had answered the phone sooner’_ an internal pessimistic, self-loathing voice in the back of Roy’s mind intruded, which opened the flood gates to other negative thoughts. _‘You should have done your job, protected him, he would still be here if you’d stepped in’_ Roy let out a shaky breath that he didn’t know he was holding. His chest felt tight, his clenched jaw ached and his eyes stung.

He quickly stood up, moving away from his desk and briefly glancing at the mountain of paperwork that was piling up. “I’ll do that tomorrow” he muttered, not entirely believing his own statement. He trudged towards his office door, grabbing the cold handle as he pulled the door open, _‘maybe a drink would help’_ he thought as he lousily walked through the long hallways. He quickly scrapped that idea, he knew he wasn’t the most pleasant after drinking alcohol and he didn’t want to upset or hurt anyone, he didn’t want to hurt Riza. The flame alchemist continued walking, not entirely sure where his feet were taking him, on his journey he passed multiple other alchemists and soldiers alike, all of which greeted him with smiles and salutes but the Colonel couldn’t even muster a fake smile for his subordinates.

Before he knew it, he was looking down at a grey, grim slab of stone, reminding him that his best friend was buried under there. He internally kicked himself, “why did I come here?” he whispered under his breath, looking at his friend’s gravestone wouldn’t change what happened, nor would it make him feel better. Within seconds the dark haired man felt sick to his stomach and his chest felt tight, tears threatened to fall as he fell to his knees, glaring at the daunting slab of stone. He had moments like this, where he felt physically and emotionally weak, vulnerable, he supposed it was because he was still grieving, or that he hadn’t let himself grieve properly yet. The colonel stayed there, hunched on the ground for what felt like hours but it was probably only a matter of minutes, eventually, he hauled himself up off of the ground and stubbornly wiped his eyes before glancing at where his friend rested once more.

Riza hummed a low tune quietly as she made her way to Mustang’s office, she knocked once before letting herself in “Colonel, the Elric brothers want-“ the lieutenant quickly stopped talking upon realising her superior was not where he said he would be. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as her mind wandered, _‘where are you?’_ Riza knew Roy had not quite been himself for a while, it was subtle changes that grabbed her attention, like the lack of concentration and the tired look that donned his face. She had been meaning to question him about his well being a few days ago but she rarely had any time alone with him. The sniper quickly made a mental note of places to check for the older man, some of which she hoped not to see him at. She sighed quietly before turning sharply on her heel and heading out of the eerily quiet, almost dead office. She couldn’t help the overcoming feeling of anxiousness and worry, she had known Roy for a very long time and she knew him well, she knew that he didn’t always handle grief in the best way. As her mind wandered, the lieutenant continued walking, a clear destination in mind.

Upon arriving at Mustang’s apartment, she gently knocked twice before growing impatient and trying the handle. After a few shakes of the handle she pulled out a spare key from her jackets inside pocket, a few seconds passed and she stepped inside the apartment. Riza looked around carefully, looking for any sign that Roy had been back here, or even that he was still here. _‘Maybe he’s sleeping’_ she quietly wandered over to his bedroom, she hoped he was in fact sleeping, she could see how tired he had looked lately. Her eyes dropped down to the door handle in front her, her hand following her gaze as the tight grip opened the door. Much to her disappointment the room was empty, the bed immediately grabbed her attention, more specifically, the tidy, made sheets is what held her gaze. The blonde knew that Roy never made his bed, ever, she had stayed over multiple times and had never once seen him make the bed, which was probably because he was always rushing around on a morning. A small huff escaped Riza’s lips “you probably haven’t slept in here for a while have you?” the question bounced off the walls, no one there to answer.

An hour or so passed and the sniper still had not found the flame alchemist, she had checked the local bars, his office multiple times and even her own apartment, hoping that maybe he’d let himself in. thoughts and places flashed through her head, she had checked almost everywhere. Almost. A wave of worry and dread washed over the lieutenant as realisation hit her. She walked as quickly as she could without drawing too much attention to herself, the sun was starting to go down and the temperature was dropping, after a couple minutes of power walking she finally found herself stood on a stretch of pavement, phone booths lined up along the side.

It was there that she found him, the colonel was stood in front of a phone booth, _the_ phone booth. Riza looked around, taking in their surroundings, making sure there was no one else there. Thankfully, the street seemed fairly quiet, it was getting late after all, for the first time that day she sighed with relief. Her feet carried her over to the dark haired man and she spoke quietly “Roy” her voice came out almost as a whisper, she stood close to the man as her eyes watched his face carefully, examining his facial expression. The colonel stood there, his eyes absent and a dismal expression taunted his face. “Colonel, its late sir, how about I walk you home?” Riza said louder, it wasn’t particularly aimed towards Roy, instead it was aimed at passer-by who was eyeing the two weirdly, probably because the pair didn’t look very professional at that moment.  “Roy, come with me” she paused “please”.

At first Roy didn’t acknowledge what Riza had said, it took him a moment to realise he was no longer alone. The sniper gently edged her own hand closer to his until she felt his fingertips brush against her hand, he slipped his hand around hers, squeezing tightly. The contact made Riza let out another quiet sigh of relief, the Colonel had finally acknowledged her presence and left his wandering thoughts behind as he came back to reality. He opened his mouth to say something, anything to Riza, but he quickly shut it for fear of breaking down in public, he clenched his jaw tightly as tears threatened to fall again. A gentle tug on Roy’s arm guided him along the street, he walked besides his lieutenant, hand in hand. Roy clung to the smaller hand like his life dependent on it, like it was the only thing keeping his thoughts his own.

Riza wondered who’s apartment Roy would be more comfortable in, the question was never raised so instead, she took him back to her apartment. As the two walked, Riza glanced up at the Colonel occasionally, a worried look written across her face as the pain on Roy’s face was clear to see. Shortly after, the two arrived at Riza’s small apartment, Roy followed closely behind the smaller woman as they moved through the familiar apartment. Nothing was said between the two while they walked to the apartment and the silence was still heavy when they arrived, the silence however, Roy found comfortable.

The kettle boiled as Riza paced the kitchen, she had left Roy in the sitting room with Hayate, who usually managed to somewhat calm the Colonel. The blonde saw how broken he looked, she saw how the sadness and guilt was consuming him and she was determined to do whatever she could to change that. The haze of thoughts currently occupying her mind were soon interrupted by a pair of arms snaking around her waist, quickly followed by the dark haired man’s head on her shoulder. The lieutenant smiled softly as she turned in his grip, moving to face the older man.

Warm, safe arms made their way around Roy’s back as he was pulled closer, Riza always made him feel safe, she felt like _home_. A firm hand made its way up to the back of Roy’s head, holding him close, her fingers tightly grasping at his hair as she felt his body shake, tears wetting her shoulder. Silence filled the room for a few minutes, the occasional sniffle coming from the flame alchemist, Roy was not fond of talking about his feelings right away, which Riza respected. “It’s okay Roy, you don’t have to pretend anymore” the blonde whispered as she rubbed the colonels back, prepared to listen to whatever he had to say. “I should have been there” he muttered before a sob racked through his body, making him quiver in guilt and grief, he attempted to continue talking but words were failing to form as the sobs and shaking continued.

Those 5 words muttered to her broke her heart, she knew he took Hughes’ death hard, but she didn’t know he blamed himself for it. Strong arms tightened their grip around the man in her grasp, “what happened was not your fault, you weren’t the one who murdered him Roy” she said firmly, trying to make it crystal clear that he was not to blame. “You’re doing what you can to find his murderer, what happened that night was in no shape or form your fault, you weren’t to know what was happening and you couldn’t have done anything to stop it” the sniper continued, yes she may have sounded harsher than she intended, but sometimes a bit of tough love went a long way. Silence surrounded the two again, leaving Roy’s mind to wander once more. The Flame Alchemist had not felt pain like this since he lost his parents, however back then he didn’t have the support he did now, a few more moments in silence passed before the quivering and sobs died down “thank you Riza” he muttered, lifting his head for the first time to look her in the eyes, a weak, sad smile on his face.

The Colonel was still haunted and tormented with guilt and sadness, but Riza didn’t want to press too much tonight, “why don’t you go sit down, I’ll bring some tea over” she coaxed soothingly, “we can talk more tomorrow”, her hand rested gently on his tear stained cheek as she lightly kissed his forehead, he squeezed her hand slightly as the two finally parted. A quick glance at the clock made Riza’s eyes widen slightly in surprise, it was already past midnight, despite this she still re-boiled the kettle and made two cups of tea before following her lover into the sitting room. She gently set the two cups down, smiling softly to herself as she glanced at Roy who had fallen asleep rather quickly, a few lights were turned off before she joined the man on the sofa, gently pressing against him she rested her hand atop of his “goodnight Roy, I love you” she whispered quietly, resting her head on her shoulder as she slowly drifted asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey lovelies, this is my first FMAB fanfic but I highly doubt it will be the last! Feedback would really be appreciated my loves <3


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